Sometimes the lifestyle can be confusing, Soft Swap versus Full Swap, GB, MFM, and so on. We’ve listed some of the most common terms below. You should know these terms are not absolute, the meaning may vary slightly from person to person.

We always recommend that you discuss your limits, with both your partner and any play partners. Making sure everyone is on the same page.

Bare Back

Refers to having intercourse without a condom.


Plus-sized women, Big Beautiful Woman.


Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism. Usually involving restraining a sexual partner and imposing some form of corporal punishment, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role play.


When a woman or man prefers sexual encounters with the opposite sex, however will actively participate in sexual encounters with the same sex depending upon the circumstances.


When a woman or man has a playful curiosity about being with a member of the same sex. He/she could never see themselves having an emotional relationship with this person.


When a woman or man is sexually attracted to both sexes.


The act of using restraints used to tie or bind a sexual partner.


Used in submissive and gay communities. Top means the “giver”, bottom the “receiver”.


People that enjoy having sex while other people watch that are not necessarily Swingers.


Double penetration, one penis in the vagina and one anally.


Double Pussy Penetration, also know as Double Vaginal Penetration. Two penises in one vagina.


To give a blow-job, usually to “prepare” the recipient for sex.


Refers to Female, Male, Female. This is a situation where there are two women and one male in a threesome.

Full Swap

Refers to swapping partners, usually for everything, up to and including intercourse.

Gang Bang

Refers to one woman having sex with several men.


See Gang Bang

Hall Pass

Indicates that one of the individuals has permission to play on his own from his partner.

Hot Wife

Is a wife that has sex with other men, some without their husband present. Or, if he is present, he is often submissive, sometimes only watching the pair, other times “servicing” one or both of the other parties.


Synonymous with “swinging”. The Lifestyle replaced “Swinging” in the 70’s or 80’s.

Meet and Greet

Low pressure events intended to introduce people into the Lifestyle. An Off Premise event is usually held at a hotel or bar.


Refers to Male, Female, Male. This is a situation where there are two men and one women in a threesome


People new to the Lifestyle


People who enjoy being nude. Nudists are not necessarily swingers, and most nudist resorts are not lifestyle resorts: sex is typically not permitted. Nudists generally separate sex from nudity.

Off Premise

An Off Premise Club or Event is an event where sexual activates do not take place at the event. These events are typically referred as Meet and Greets.

On Premise

An On Premise Club or Event is where sexual activities take place at the event. These clubs are typically BYOB (“bring your own booze”).

Safe Word

Pre-agreed method to subtly or easily communicate with your partner that you are uncomfortable with the situation or that you are ready to leave. You may want to consider multiple words, for example, one to stop play, and another that you are ready to leave.

We actually use three, one to indicate everything should stop immediately, one letting the other know to take things down a notch, and another if one of us is uncomfortable with a situation and wants a graceful way out. We also use a “double-tap”, indicating the need to stop or pause, in case our mouth is otherwise “occupied”.

The point is to make sure that both of you have agreed to a signal, or signals, and are paying attention.

Same Room

All partners are in the same room. This may, or may not, involve sex. Often couples like watching their partner have sex.

Separate Room

Swapping and playing in a different room than your partner.

Situationally Bi

Bi-sexual, depending on your mood and choice of partners. Connie is situationally bi.

Soft Swap

Indicates an exchange of partners, but not to include intercourse.


Female Ejaculation


Used in submissive and gay communities. Top means the “giver”, bottom the “receiver”.


Vanilla refers to something that is non-Lifestyle.


People that enjoy watching others have sex that are not necessarily Swingers.


Refers to a single woman in the Lifestyle. Unicorn refers to the fact that they are quite rare and valued.